Redundant

There’s that loud banging on the door again
A scratching sound on the surface again
It grates my teeth, rattles my bones
Against the silence, reminding me i’m alone
A scraping pain in the chest again
The weary face, these eyes are wet again
It drags me down, below dark terrain
Empty words, yes too many words remain…

Gravity

trying to get away
i run around
in circles to my dismay
round and round
smaller it grows
the center of my gravity
is you

fading black to white
escaping hues
not wanting reds or blues
white washed walls
of memories of you

tongue in cheek
there’s a story between us
you refuse to speak
i’m undone

one foot forward
two steps back
making excuses for the feelings that you lack
holding on
to thin cold sheets
waking up, alone

Buoyant

Here I am

Adrift once more

In a sea of chaos of my own making.

You are the waves.

Emotions are fierce currents.

Expectations drown, they choke.

Insanity is a the lone rescue boat.

Masochism

Eyes closed.

Holding breath.

Turning blue,

I turn blue for you.

Spiraling.

Crashing.

Nowhere to turn.

I am almost out of heart to burn.

Entombed

Devoid of emotion.

Lacking passion.

I submit to passiveness.

Breathing in and out.

No noise, not a shout.

I am stoic.

Perfectly still.

Paint my face.

A smile;

A tear;

Whatever you wish.

I am a canvass.

No soul.

No heart.

Breathing in and out.

I am your masterpiece.

I am your art.

No soul.

No anything.

No heart.

Seeking

My eyes betray me.

They wander off to where you stand.

At least, where you used to.

I cannot help it.

I wish and I pine.

Unintentional and strange.

I believe you are mine.

These eyes dart back and forth.

I am dizzy, mortified.

Afraid you will catch me looking;

You will see through my disguise.

I keep my mouth closed.

My face in an expressionless mask.

This heart is not up to the task.

But oh how my eyes betray me.

It seeks you endlessly.

 

CRAP!

I see your eyes in every face.

I smile and blink –

It’s gone.

I search again

In this sea of strangers.

When will I learn?

You are not him.

I am not her.

You are gone forever.

Memories, they haunt me so.

All I want is to let go.

But time and again-

I see your eyes in every face.

I smile, blink back the tears.

You are gone.

Please, let me move on.

Doors

The opening and closing

Of doors never ending.

I get used to the sound.

Just like the silence that engulfs me.

Knowing that you are no longer around.

The constant humming

Of overhead, hanging lights.

Are strangely comforting

Especially in these cold, lonely nights.

Goodbyes, I am used to them.

Knowing that when night comes

You will be back here, again.

And the opening and shutting

The banging and the swearing

These parts of everyday

I have come to use to know.

All that remains are distant shadows.

I take comfort in the haunting sounds.

In these everyday nuisance

I know that is where you will be found.

Awake

Keep me awake

Your words pounding

My head is aching

This heart breaking.

Keep me awake

Tossing and turning.

At night, I lay in vain waiting

On this bed I made.

The pillows whisper your scent.

The sheets still warm as your skin.

Keep me awake

I am slowly dying within.

Keep me awake.

Your arms still wrapped too tight.

Keep me awake.

I am alone, choking every night.

Keep me awake.

Your thoughts pounding on my head.

Keep me awake.

Why am I breathing when I feel dead?

Keep me awake.

Your words pounding.

My head aching

This heart breaking.

The clock ticking…

Every second, you drift farther…

 

Nonsense

The sun shines while it rains.

I look at empty skies, yet still it rains.

The earth is dry as deserts are arid.

Yet I sink, submerge in liquid abyss.

Why do you turn when you say walk straight?

Do you enjoy making me run?

Why do you say yes when you mean no?

Telling me lies that ring the truth.

You paint it like it is black

With colors that are white.

You twist me around in circles, lines.

I am knotted, confused, lost.