Buoyant

Here I am

Adrift once more

In a sea of chaos of my own making.

You are the waves.

Emotions are fierce currents.

Expectations drown, they choke.

Insanity is a the lone rescue boat.

We Want What We Can’t Have

Out of reach and yet I stretch my soul forward.

Out of sight, yet I see with my heart.

Out of logic and still I try to see reason.

 

Entombed

Devoid of emotion.

Lacking passion.

I submit to passiveness.

Breathing in and out.

No noise, not a shout.

I am stoic.

Perfectly still.

Paint my face.

A smile;

A tear;

Whatever you wish.

I am a canvass.

No soul.

No heart.

Breathing in and out.

I am your masterpiece.

I am your art.

No soul.

No anything.

No heart.

Seeking

My eyes betray me.

They wander off to where you stand.

At least, where you used to.

I cannot help it.

I wish and I pine.

Unintentional and strange.

I believe you are mine.

These eyes dart back and forth.

I am dizzy, mortified.

Afraid you will catch me looking;

You will see through my disguise.

I keep my mouth closed.

My face in an expressionless mask.

This heart is not up to the task.

But oh how my eyes betray me.

It seeks you endlessly.

 

Self-Loathing

There is a different kind of pain

The one that you cannot ever prevent

It is the scar that remains

It is the heartache spent.

This vile attack on your soul

A meeting you will never forget

It is the death after that fall

The one the reeks of regret.

The war that you wage

Not with anyone but yourself

Impossible to disengage

A defeat that cannot be helped.

This is the end of the line.

Your universe unceremoniously razed

Purged from time.

All hell leads to this place.

 

Infatuation

I lost myself in those eyes.

Mesmerize, I am nothing more.

A shadow of what was before;

shattered, broken, rebuilt.

Feigning strength, I pull away.

Your heartbeat drums, making me stay.

No, don’t hold my hand just yet.

I was nothing and everything when our skins met.

No concept of time or space.

An endless sea of nameless face.

Floating neither her nor there.

Your eyes keep me in place.

Shield my soul.

Hide this heart.

Mindless Courage

Standing on edge, waiting for that dive.

Waiting for that one moment, where I can feel alive.

The bright blue waves crashing towards boulders

Give me no fear, I am ready to go under.

Shouting, at blue and open skies.

I challenge fate, the kind that defies.

No rules, no reservations.

No stopping, no considerations.

Toes perched, on a cliff.

Swinging arms, thrusting hips.

Down, down a spiral I will go.

I will enjoy the ride.

I will enjoy the show!

Forbidden

The rush of pulling me into you.

I taste the sweetness on my lips.

A ghost, prelude to what could be.

You treat me no differently.

A woman of your dreams.

Significant, worthy of your charms.

You plague me in my daydreams.

You burn me when at night.

Swept away so easily,

I pause to catch my breath.

Closing eyes, biting tongue

I am almost at the edge.

Giving in to you.

Wanting the thing I can’t have.

And just like that

The rush is over.

Sucked to the floor.

I taste the bitterness of us.

Straining for more of what you can’t give.

I wake up from this addiction of you.

Battered, heart bruised.

Ready for your next onslaught.